It ain't easy but it's possible
by koralina
Summary: They should do something before it's too late for both of them.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** I know that I have Puzzles to keep on writing but I loved the last episode especially final Casey/Severide interaction. I've waited so long for them to start working as a team again and I'm not talking about their professional responsibilities, mind you. That's why I wanted to rewrite some scenes of It ain't easy, showing how I see it and where I hope it will lead. Here's the first chapter. I'm planning to write one more about them on that roof with Vargas.

* * *

"We are placing him on a long term disability"

Only then did he realize that all of it was really happening. Now it wasn't just an uncomfortable feeling that there was some wall separating Vargas from them. They were going to lose one more of their family and there was nothing he could do about that.

"When I get all this paperwork together I will talk to Vargas"

So it appeared there was still one thing he could. He could make it less impersonal, could be there for him and tell him himself. That wasn't that he didn't trust Chief to make it right but Vargas had been his responsibility all these years and he deserved to know from a comrade.

Beside him Severide flinched unconsciously and he remembered that he was there too and more important Severide was Vargas' superior now, not him. And if anything he should be part of the decision. Casey looked at him silently asking him who'd be the one. He did it more out of a habit than anything else. Because really the time they had been able to understand each other without words, well it had been gone in the same fire with Andy.

To his surprise though Severide met his gaze and he could see there pain and fear but in the same time determination to do the right thing. He nodded and Casey was somehow sure it wasn't about him taking the leads but agreeing to do that together.

"We'll tell him" He said for both of them and that felt strangely good.

Chief didn't answer just nodded approvingly and let them go. Telling something like that couldn't be easy to anyone and Boden wasn't going to ask them just hoping they would volunteer themselves.

They entered the room quietly not knowing how they was going to do that but pretty sure they would let Vargas have his time with the rest of the crew before they got that away from him.

"You're back. Good. It doesn't taste well in a cold state." Otis muttered trying to ignore the tension that was hanging after two men entering the room.

"Then we're better shut up and enjoy the meal" Severide chuckled sitting down. Casey did the same though he couldn't stop glancing at Vargas when he wasn't looking at him trying to imagine how it could be feeling to be in his place.

* * *

"Okay guys. What is happening? Have you seen my results?"

Vargas was the one who made the first move and it felt wrong in so many ways. Still Casey was glad he did that.

"Let's talk in the locker room" He suggested hoping for some privacy.

Vargas nodded and Casey was sure he had already understood everything.

"So that's it?" He asked the second they were alone in the locker room. A simple question but Casey didn't know how to answer it. All clichés like 'We're sorry' and 'There's so much for you there besides this work' just didn't sound right.

"I'm sorry Vargas" Severide tried to find words. "It could have happened to any of us."

"Well, be glad it didn't happen to you" Was what they got in return and they couldn't blame him. They stripped him out of any possibility to deny things, leading him right into the second stage of acceptance, anger. But Severide shouldn't be the only one to be angry at, if all they were the ones who brought water to those shavings.

"Hey. You're getting paid. Three quarters of the salary." Casey said giving Severide time to readjust.

He knew it wasn't about money for Vargas but it was something to start with, to show him that he shouldn't be afraid about his future.

"Yeah" He muttered hopelessly and Casey looked at Severide for some backup, maybe something between the lines that he was still part of the Squad and so on.

"It's not what anybody wants. But any of us would take that deal." He said instead.

"How about you, Kelly? Would you take that deal? " Vargas asked out of the blue making Casey wondered was there something more than just them being on the roof together.

He watched Severide wincing a little and knew he had to say something to lead the talk away from him but Severide's reaction stopped Casey. It was like he indeed thinking about that himself, like there was a question at all.

"They're not offering a choice" Severide said finally. But it lacked confidence as if he just needed to say something he hoped would be true.

Casey was sure Vargas could sense that too and Severide was losing it. There was definitely something with him they needed to talk about but now wasn't about him but about Vargas. He should be Casey's first priority.

"You're still doing landscaping?" He asked after thinking through all he knew about his life outside the firehouse.

"Yeah. Whenever my buddy needs another guy" Vargas answered and maybe Casey imagined it but he brightened up a little.

"Take then 75%, start your own business." He continued enthusiastically trying his best to find Vargas new goal in his life. Of course it wasn't near enough the feeling of saving people but it could do for a while and then maybe it would be a little easier for him to accept what had happened.

"Or go ride Harley's with your brother like you talked about." Severide chipped in and Casey knew that moment what would come next because Vargas' brother wasn't here anymore and Severide should have known that.

"He moved to Albuquerque"

They sat there in silence until Vargas laughed humorlessly and Casey couldn't say anymore what stage he was on, anger, fear, despair but it certainly wasn't acceptance.

"You and me should both be taking 75%" Vargas announced before standing up and Casey was speechless because at one point it was a cruel thing to say but he felt like he wasn't the one to interfere, like maybe there was something more going on there, the same feeling he had had before.

They said their good byes and Vargas left. Normally Casey would follow him and went on with his business but he couldn't get away from the feeling Kelly… Severide wasn't fine. He was the ass, okay, but he wouldn't forget things in his normal state. And even so he should have been yelling at Vargas for giving up, for resigning to his fate instead of just sitting there twisting his hands and looking for the words to say. It was Casey's place to think about other's feelings before saying anything while Severide just go with the truth even if it hurts. That was why he couldn't just go away without one more attempt to look for him.

Casey watched him standing near his locker. They weren't friends anymore and he probably just got 'mind your own business' in return but "Did you see a doctor?"

Severide merely turned to look at him in return. He clearly favored his shoulder and Casey wondered how could he haven't seen before how far the whole situation had gone.

"Your shoulder. Do you think no one has noticed?" He asked him determined to get Severide out of his misery one way or another.

"It's my neck. And I saw a doctor."

Casey was surprised he got straight answer. Until seconds later Severide added.

"She said there's nothing to worry about so I'm not worrying about."

It was just another way to tell him to get away from him because he was perfectly capable to make his own decisions and not to forget, there wasn't anything to worry about, except the one thing, there was.

"It's your business, but if it's an issue for you, it's an issue for all of us." He knew it was falling on deaf ears. But he had to say him, had to make him understand that after all people they had lost they couldn't afford one more accident.

"Then we're good."

Stubborn as always, Casey thought bitterly. He could yell at him because if something happened and he wasn't there to do his work his people could die and he wasn't going to let him endanger any of them. He could tell him he was an idiot who should stop trying to fight all alone because he had all of them to be there for him. He could say so much to him but instead he watched him walking away.

"No we're not." He muttered going to the truck and promising himself that he would corner him once again after the shift before something irreversible happened.


	2. Chapter 2

Next time Casey saw Vargas he was going to the locker room to get his stuff. They didn't say anything to each other, after all they had had some farewell after his transfer. They just shook hands and went their separate ways.

Some time later the whole firehouse stood outside waiting for Vargas to come out to his final good bye. Casey watched all of them hugging him and saying something like 'be well' while Vargas smiling and pretending he's alright. They weren't there when he had found out. So they couldn't see what Casey could, that lost look behind all smiles and tense posture, the desperate hope that time would froze with him still one of them. But even farewell had its end and then Vargas had to go away.

"Keep an eye on him, both of you" Chief said quietly and Casey could see the same understanding in his eyes. It wasn't the end and they still might have to save him.

He nodded and Severide mirrored him. Funny how one loss had tossed them apart while the other made them combine forces.

* * *

The end of the shift came and Casey was looking for Severide. He had some time before going to Dawson and he didn't want to delay it anymore. Severide had enough time to deal with it himself while he dealt with the whole Voight mess. But when he finally spotted him he had to reconsider his decision.

Severide was walking toward Vargas who looked like a lost puppy sitting there alone. It should be expected that at some moment he'd visit the firehouse again. Casey just didn't expect it to be so soon. Maybe it'd be better for Vargas to be angry that way he could move on just to prove something to them. Because almost anything was better than his face when they all had declined his invitation.

"You stay the whole shift" He heard Severide said.

"Old habits"

He was so obvious in need for someone to save him from the loneliness that Casey pondered over the thought of asking Vargas to help him with Dawson's window. It would be good for him to feel useful again. But Severide forestalled him.

"I've got reservation for tonight. How do you feel joining us for the dinner?" He asked somewhat unsurely totally surprising Casey.

He was sure Severide was talking about his date and he hadn't been known to give up on his chance with a woman even for his friends. Casey remembered all those times Severide preferred the girl he had seen only once before to their evenings together leaving him and Andy behind. Something had definitely changed in between.

He glanced at them one last time before going to his car. Vargas wouldn't be alone tonight so he could relax and enjoy his evening with Dawson and that thing she was going to make for him.

* * *

It looked like he shouldn't have been so sure about Severide's ability to deal with things. He didn't know what had happened but it should have been pretty bad for Severide asking for help. At least that was what he got from the 'Last floor. Now. It's Vargas.' Maybe there was something else, well of course except for the address, but all he could concentrate on while driving there was Vargas losing it with his condition deteriorated suddenly. The only thing he didn't expect was seeing him on the very brink of the roof wanting to end this here and now.

Severide was beside him talking to him and trying to get him out of there. Casey was sure he had never seen him so scared, rescuer who didn't know how to rescue this particular man.

"Come on man" It sounded so lame but Severide clearly was out of words for now and Casey wondered how long they had been there considering it took fifteen minutes for him to arrive.

"Hey there, buddy" He said carefully stepping forward. "What's going on?"

He saw Severide looking at him desperately, asking silently to do something, anything to fix things and then he turned him off concentrating on Vargas and his position. In the worst scenario they would have to knock him down and pull away and that meant to get as close to him as possible.

"This is so messed up" Vargas turned from them looking at the street under him.

It wasn't good at all. He wasn't going to do anything stupid while he was talking to them. 'Distract the victim while you're working to get them out' was one of the first things they had been taught.

"Why don't you move away from the edge there, Vargas?"

"I've been telling him." Severide understood him and did his best to engage Vargas into the conversation. "He keeps the rest of his life the way he fought fires, he'll have a hell of a lot to be proud of."

He made it looked like he was talking to Casey and not pleading Vargas to think again. For a second they thought it would do. They heard him sobbing but he didn't turn to them still looking in front of him.

Now it was Casey's turn to try, to make him understand that it wasn't for nothing.

"Remember the home wood fire?" He asked Severide. Somehow it was easier pretending they were just talking though he didn't get his eyes off Vargas.

"We lost the house and Vargas saved the family photo album. But here's the thing I never told you. The mum thanked me after it was all over. You know what she said? She said "The house was made out of wood. But the home was made out of people in that book." Firehouse 51 is made out of you and me and Severide… and every firefighter that passes through those gates. Nothing can take that away from you."

He finished holding his breathe. Those were finally the right words he had looked for before in the locker room. That no matter what would happen with all of them they were already part of the firehouse 51. He hoped Vargas understood that it was more than just attempt to get him away from the edge, that Casey really believed those words.

Vargas began shaking and they were starting worried that he could fall down accidentally. But then he turned around slowly unsurely but he did it. Their eyes met and Casey could see that big man crumbling inside and sobbing like a scared boy.

Severide didn't waste time grabbing him and pulling him down. Casey joined him but not because he was afraid of Vargas trying something again but because he needed them to be there for him, to hold him and tell him 'everything'll be alright'.

"51 is always gonna be your house" Casey said still looking him right into eyes as if trying to give Vargas some of his strength.

* * *

They were staying there for some time letting Vargas to cry out all his pain and anger and fear. Then they led him carefully to Casey's car because he was too exhausted to walk without their support and drove Vargas home. They had been pondering the thought of having him stay with one of them but he could need his meds and they weren't doctors after all.

"What are you doing?" Casey asked after settling Vargas in his bedroom.

"Shay said to keep her informed about Vargas. Now is the best time to do that or you're going to find yourself what all those meds are for?" Severide asked him dialing her number.

Casey nodded sitting down making himself comfortable. It was obvious he wouldn't get anywhere near his own bed soon.

"What you'd said there, on the roof." Severide started but stopped right the moment Casey looked at him.

"I meant it. Every word." Casey said studying the man in front of him.

Something troubled him and Casey wasn't naive enough to believe it was just about Vargas.

"If you have a problem, don't hide it. Everything can be solved but sometimes it needs more than one person to achieve." He tried but Severide frowned and turned away from him.

"Don't have problems to share. What about you Matt? Do you sleep well?"

Casey sighed rubbing his head in frustration. Why should he make everything so complicated? Why couldn't they just talk to each other?

Then he remembered who he was talking about. Severide never was the one to open up to people, too afraid to get hurt or laughed or left behind, the direct opposite to Andy the most open-hearted man he had ever met. And he himself had always been in the middle, not so closed as Kelly but not as inspiring person as Andy. But Andy wasn't with them anymore and he should be the one to do something, to make that first step before it was too late.

"I had almost lost it." If he wanted Severide to confide into him he should have done the same.

"The whole situation with Voight" He explained seeing confusion on Severide's face. "Deep inside I knew I should stop before it would cost me everything I love but I couldn't. All of you tried to talk me out of it, to make me calm down and keep on with my life but the only thing I could think about how my life couldn't be the same now and that no one of you couldn't understand that. Because you weren't the ones to see that brat, I was."

"Be glad it didn't happen to you, as Vargas had pointed." Casey continued not looking at Severide lost in his memories. "I wasn't better than him. I had been doing the right thing but I wish every day it would have been one of you. And you thought I was a hero." He laughed bitterly.

"What made you stop?" Severide asked after a few minutes of silence.

"Voight." Casey said simply.

He stood up and walked to the fridge looking for a beer but of course it wasn't there. After all it didn't go well with meds, especially not in Vargas' state.

"I went to him determined to solve it once and for all and he showed me the way to do that." He paused regaining his strength. "He gave me his gun."

He turned to Severide to see the horrified look in his eyes.

"Do you understand that?" He yelled at him. "I had almost turned into a murderer just because I thought it was the only way to get my life back."

"But it wasn't. There were Antonio and Chief and that guy I'd rescued from the fire. They helped me win that war and return my life. So as I've said before everything could be solved just not on your own. "

He thought those were the right words for Severide. Showing him how it had been for him was the only thing he could do to make him open up or at least to think more about his actions. He hoped Severide would say something, would tell him what the problem was.

"Hey guys, had a good time without me?" Shay asked entering the door and Casey understood that he lost his chance with Severide.

"Just overestimated Vargas' strength" Severide answered and looked at Casey asking him to go along.

Casey nodded there was no need in telling everyone about his breakdown.

"Severide called me to give them a lift and I was going to drive him home after parting with Vargas but since you're here I guess you make sure he'll get there eventually."

"Yeah. Don't worry about him."

She winked at him than turned to Severide. "Where is he and what did you do to him?"

"Nothing, how could you even think that?" Severide said in a hurt voice.

"Of course, no reasons at all." She muttered.

"He's in the bedroom." Casey told her before they would start another round of argument.

"Thanks. I'll check on him then."

"Have a good night Casey"

"You too."

"Severide" He nodded at him and opened the door.

"Casey" He looked back to see Severide hurried to the door. "We should go for a drink sometime."

"Sure." He smiled. "If you'll survive this night"

"Yeah, angry Shay isn't the person you'd want to meet with." Severide laughed in return closing the door.

Maybe Casey didn't lose his chance after all. He just had to be more patient.

* * *

**A/N:** Okay, there was what I imagined had happened during the last episode. Hope you like my version. Thank you for reading and reviewing.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:** I know I said it was two-part story but then Severide has finally made up his mind and agreed to the surgery. I couldn't ignore that fact. After all that story was partly about that. So here's the third chapter. But I have to warn you, it's about Severide this time with just a little glimpse on Casey and their previous interactions. As always read enjoy and review ;)

Oh, and thank you, Me, for your review, it's nice to know you believe in my version of characters.

* * *

Severide didn't know why he even suggested that to Casey. He did it on the spur of the moment because honestly he was a grown man and he didn't need anyone to mother him. It was already bad enough that Shay knew about his neck. He wasn't going to add saint-Casey to the list. What could he say to him anyway: how foolish it was for him not to get a medical help immediately, how his decision endangered anyone around him and that, of course, Casey had to tell Boden about that now. No, he definitely wasn't going to go that way. To hell with Matt and his good intentions. They weren't even friends anymore.

"Care to tell me what exactly had happened?"

Once again Shay was looking at him suspiciously as if everything bad in the world was now his fault. He was fed up with that attitude. Okay, maybe he did make his fair share of mistakes with all drugs and that test she had helped him to pass but he didn't ask her to do that and they agreed to stay away from each other private life. So he really hoped she would stop making a problem out of nothing.

"As I've said before we overestimated Vargas' wellbeing. You can ask him if you don't believe me." He snapped at her.

She gave him one long look before shrugging it all away "Yeah, whatever".

* * *

Next few days it looked like things were going better with Royce agreeing to go out with him again, this time without Vargas, and Casey giving him some space or being too engulfed in his own problems, Severide wasn't sure which one. But he was happy to have some free time from defending himself and pretending to be fine. He tried to call Vargas few times but the only time he managed to get him on the phone, Vargas told him to back off, because he needed some time to think and that he didn't know what he would do next but he wasn't going to harm himself that was for sure. It sounded reasonable enough for Severide so he left Vargas dealing with his demons and tried to enjoy his own life. He even agreed to be a part of one of Hermann's scheme. He was absolutely sure that car would be a waste of money. But he liked to fix things and he didn't want to be the one to crash Hermann's hopes. Then suddenly things went downhill and fast.

It all started with Shay telling him that they had problems with her giving him drugs.

"And I thought I replaced every vial I gave you, but I must have lost count."

He didn't expect that. Well of course he knew it was a dangerous move to use their supplies but somehow he used to think he would be the one to pay the price not Shay.

"Hey. How can they bust you for something that somebody said happened a month ago? "

He wanted to believe his own words, wanted to believe that he didn't screw up his best friend life.

"It's their word against yours."

"If it were my ass on the line, I'd put up a fight. But Dawson's the P.I.C. It's her ass on the line."

He knew he was a bad man but he was happy to hear that Shay was out of danger. Dawson was a colleague, maybe a little more but she wasn't his friend and if all he could live with her having some problems because of him. The only thing that mattered here was Shay.

"Hmm" He realized that she was still waiting for his answer. "Well, I don't know what to tell you." He doubted she'd appreciate his thoughts about Dawson.

He looked at her shocked expression and it dawned on him how bad his words sounded.

"Wait. I didn't mean"

"No, you're right." She stopped him coldly. "It's not your problem. You got what you needed." She walked away from him not turning back to his desperate calls.

"Damn it!" He didn't mean it that way. He just didn't think before saying those words.

* * *

He was going to talk to Shay, to tell her he was sorry and that he was going to do all he could to help her and Dawson out but she had been avoiding him all day and after the shift she managed to slip out before he even got a chance. He hoped maybe she went home but she wasn't there and he had a meeting with Royce. He decided their talk could wait. After all what could happen during one night?! He learned the answer to that question the next morning.

"You know I love you, right?" That was her way of greeting him and he shuddered because she was many things but not the girl to confess her feelings so openly.

"Okay, what's going on?" He asked worriedly. What could have happened after their last conversation? Could there be more than her avoiding him because he had pissed her off?

"I love you because I know you'd stick your neck out for me the way I have for you."

"Of course I would" He answered immediately feeling a relief. It was about that conversation again, nothing else.

"And I did that to get you over the hump"

"Which you totally did" He smiled at her trying to show how thankful he was for everything.

Severide opened his mouth to tell her how she misunderstood his words yesterday when he saw something in her hands, something that shouldn't be there and all words left him.

"And then I found this in the trash" She looked at him with such hurt expression and he wanted to change that but all he managed to say was

"Those are old… they are old." Even for his ears it was lame.

"I perjured myself for you, Kelly."

"Shay" Of course he knew that and…

"I'm out."

What? He expected many things but not this particular one.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. What do you mean?"

"I mean I'm out. We had a deal…"

She paused maybe to pull herself together or to give him an opportunity to say something but he couldn't. He was too shocked.

"We wouldn't get in each other's business. But I can't hold up my end. So I'm out."

Their deal… She was leaving because of that. Severide tried to understand her but everything was a mess.

"Shay, it's okay. I got it." He didn't care about the deal if that was her problem.

"No, you don't. I'm not gonna sit here and watch you just fool yourself. I'll get the rest of my stuff later."

"Shay, wait, please don't go." He was going to understand her, they could get things right. She just had to stay here.

"Please don't … don't do this."

She wasn't there anymore. She left and he was still staying still trying to process things. He hoped they had time to talk.

He wondered through their apartment thoughtless not knowing what to do anymore. He'd call her right away but he doubted she picked up the phone. Maybe after some time she'd be more willing to talk.

That's why he was so surprised when his phone ringed. He didn't expect her to call him so soon, to call at all for that matter. He answered not looking at the caller ID

"Shay, look" but he was stopped by a male voice.

"Severide, it's Boden. There was an accident with the ambulance. Shay and Dawson are on the way to the hospital now."

"I'll be there"

He wasn't sure he told it before turning off the phone, wasn't sure there wasn't anything else Boden wanted to tell. He just rushed towards the door intending to get there as soon as possible.

* * *

"Is that her? Is that Shay?" All he could see was a glimpse of blond hair.

He hoped he was wrong, hoped she was checked somewhere else and would soon get out to tease him for overreacting. But Boden's words crushed his hopes.

"Let them do their job, Kelly. Kelly!"

"I want to see her"

"Right now there's nothing you can do"

He knew that. Still he wanted to see her as if that would change her condition drastically, would force her to open her eyes and be fine.

"What… What are they…" He tried to finish his question but words didn't want to get out of his mouth.

"She's got a head injury."

"How bad is it?" He whispered.

"I don't know."

At some moment the rest of the firehouse got there but he didn't care. They were sitting quietly, speaking only to tell news to those who had just arrived. Severide answered as well, about Shay's mom and dad and how he had left a message but he didn't care about that. All his thoughts were down that hallway. It was only yesterday he thought he had time and now Shay could be dead and their last conversation was about how he had disappointed her.

* * *

Finally they had to return back to the firehouse because after all they had a work to do. Luckily there weren't any calls so far because Severide wasn't sure he could concentrate on anything right now. Then Dawson walked in and he barely let her greet guys before asking

"Shay?"

"She's still in I.C.U. but the brain swelling subsided and she won't need surgery or the I.C.P. catheter."

'All those medical terms!' He frowned. 'Leave it to Dawson to show how advanced she is.'

"They're hoping she's out of the woods."

She wasn't going to die that was all Severide needed to know. She'd be okay sooner or later and he was going to do everything for her when she was back home. If, he corrected himself.

"Hey, Dawson. What else did the doctors say?" He hoped this time he could get more from her.

"They're hoping to get a better indication where she's at in the next 24."

He nodded now not so hopeful.

"Hey, she looked a little better."

Dawson wanted to cheer him up but all he could think was

"You saw her? They told me no visitors?" Why couldn't I see her?

"I wasn't a visitor. I was getting examined myself." She pointed to him.

"You're right. I'm sorry. How are you doing?" He apologized but he didn't feel that way.

Dawson knew so much about Shay's condition. She was with her when it all happened. Probably she was the one Shay was going to live with.

"The thing is me and Shay had a disagreement right before she went on the shift."

"Yeah, I know. She asked if she could stay at my place for a while."

He was right about that and he didn't like that. He didn't want Dawson being the one to be with her after discharging from the hospital.

"Yeah. But in light of things I think she should come back home after she's discharged. I'll take care of her."

"That's her call to make but I'm not really worried about that right now."

"Of course. Yeah" He muttered. Shay's wellbeing was priority here not the place she'd stay after. "I just want her to be okay."

* * *

Still he hoped that Shay would come back to their place after all. He had talked like it went without saying, told her about hipster music from her room and all that nonsense because it was easier than to plead for her to stay with him. But once again she told him no.

"I'm still gonna stay with Dawson, Kelly. I think the way we left it is best."

He was back where he started that day in his apartment all alone with only beer and his thoughts to keep him company.

_"I don't know who this is Kelly, but it isn't you."_

_"I had almost turned into a murderer just because I thought it was the only way to get my life back."_

_"Are you high?"_

_"I'm not gonna sit here and watch you just fool yourself."_

_"All of you tried to talk me out of it, to make me calm down and keep on with my life but the only thing I could think about was how my life couldn't be the same now and that no one of you couldn't understand that."_

_"You and me should both be taking 75%"_

_"I'll go on a long-term disability. That's 75% pay. And then do what, Shay? Working squad is all I want. It's all I have."_

_"Firehouse 51 is made out of you and me and Severide… and every firefighter that passes through those gates. Nothing can take that away from you."_

_"You know I love you, right? I love you because I know you'd stick your neck out for me the way I have for you."_

_"If you have a problem, don't hide it. Everything can be solved but sometimes it needs more than one person to achieve."_

He was scared to lose his job but he didn't like the way he was going right now. Little by little he was turning into drug addict who was thinking only about himself and didn't care how many people could be hurt by his actions. He didn't want to lose Shay but he would if he kept up with his ignorance. Maybe that crash was his last warning like that gun was for Matt. Maybe he needed some help after all.

"I need help." It wasn't as hard as he expected it to be and it was somewhat a relief to know he wasn't alone.

"You got it."

* * *

"I'm so damn proud of you, Kelly. And if I were straight I'd throw the biggest hump into you right now."

First time in his life somebody was proud of him for being weak and asking for help and he was happy. He didn't need to fight all alone. He had his family, his home and he would do everything not to lose it. It ain't easy but it's possible.

"I really don't know what I would've done if anything happened to you."

"I felt the exact same way."

"Alright. Alright."


End file.
